Have you ever dreamed of something for so long that when it finally becomes even slightly a reality, you panic? This week brought me a wild range of emotions as we are finally seeing some of our biggest projects nearing completion. I have found myself bouncing between a state of excitement and fear all week. Once we complete the barn and fence, our cows will finally come home. Which means our farm responsibilities are going to significantly increase.
Don't get me wrong we knew having cows would be work and honestly that isn't the scariest part. I want our cows to have the best life and my fear is that I will somehow fail them. Maybe that stems from losing our first calf. Maybe it's just my personality. Either way I want to be ready to give our cows the best home ever.
We have done all we know to prepare ourselves for this new adventure. Taking classes, meeting other farmers, reading books and blogs, watching hours of YouTube videos and so much more. I know in my soul we have done all we can to prepare yet I still find myself doubting. Owning an animal requires great responsibility and we do not take that lightly.
The farm life can be incredibly hard on the emotions. This week has taught me a lot about how I respond to them. Emotions are real but not always true. I can allow the emotion of fear to take over or I can speak truth into the situation. For example, I have been terrified to drive Oliver, our tractor, but this week I conquered that fear and now have the confidence I need to help Jordan with tractor related farm chores.
No farm is all sunshine and rainbows. Same goes for life really. We all have bad days, hard times, and tragedy in our lives. How we respond to it matters. Losing our first calf was definitely one of our hardest farm experiences, but because we had such a great community built around us we were able to walk through that feeling supported. The fear around bringing our cows home can cause me to spiral into anxiety but when I take a moment to look at all we have done to prepare ourselves, I know that we will be just fine.
Whether you are starting a farm, already farming, or have no interest in farming at all, I leave you with this advice. Trust God. Surround yourself with people who will encourage you and lift you up. Make friends with local farmers. Be a good neighbor. When tough times hit, those are the people who will hold you up.
The only thing Baxter brought home this week was mud and manure.
How can I pray for you this week?
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