Hey friends. It's been too long. I have come to this space several times in the past few months, but words have failed me. I planned on taking a two week break from socials as Jordan and I prepared for a huge life changing moment. Those two weeks turned into nearly three months. Honestly I just didn't know how to share what we were walking through. Hopefully today I can shed some light on where we have been and maybe provide some updates on the farm too.
Jordan and I have struggled with infertility for over a decade. This past February we decided it was time to get some answers. We went through a plethora of test and procedures to get our answer, and it was certainly not the answer we wanted. The realization that our only chance at having biological children was through IVF was not an easy thing to hear. We struggled, and still do struggle with this reality. I won't expound on every detail of our journey but I will say that it is very hard. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually hard.
We started our first cycle of IVF with all the hope and trust we could muster. We were surrounded by prayer and love. We saw God answer so many specific prayers through each step of the process. We made it to transfer day, which was the most precious day we have ever experienced. We finally got to see our little embaby. We were overwhelmed with pure joy. We waited with hopeful hearts for our results but unfortunately we lost our sweet baby boy.
Despite our devastation God has given us an unexplainable peace through this grieving process. Our hope is not wavering. We trust that as we move into the second cycle of IVF God will provide. Our hearts still ache and grieve the loss of our little boy, but we trust that God is good and that he is with us through this journey.
I hope that helps explain why we have been a bit quiet on here. I haven't decided how much I want to share regarding our 2nd IVF cycle, but I am praying about it and if I feel lead to share more, I will. Thankfully during this time we were blessed to have Jordan's mom and our nephew here on the farm. They were a tremendous help to us during the thick of our procedures. I was on restrictions for several weeks and they managed all my farm duties during that time. We are beyond grateful for their love and support.
If you made it through all of that, thank you. Thank you for being here to support us and our little farm journey. Thank you for being patient with us, especially since we produced no content in the last 3 months. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to read our blog. It means more than you know.
Ok farm updates, I don't even know where to start y'all. We have dried the goats off in preparation for breeding season. Trexy is 3 weeks away from calving! We sold our first goat, finally!! We were surprised with 20 chicks from Dolly mama who hid AGAIN with 28 eggs! Thankfully they will be going to their new home soon. We are 4 weeks away from sending our first steer to the processor. The ducks are all getting along and living amicably. Oh and we have a new puppy!
Next week I will take some time to dive into the farm a bit more but I felt led to share a glimpse of our fertility journey. We created this space to help small farmers but I don't want to dehumanize this space either. We are all going through hard things in life. You may be going through an even harder situation right now. Just know that you are not alone.
How can I pray for you?